truly dads with new born babies v dads with children are two completely different people this man used to strap this child to his chest with a double chest wrap because he was terrified of giving her shaken baby syndrome and now he just kinda hucks her , I’ll be sitting on the bed and all of a sudden my child just comes soaring towards me
Husband when child was newborn: you are my beautiful soft amazing little creature and I will be so gentle and lightly clean you softly and sing you sweet songs
Husband now that child is 4 years old: carries feral child upside down into the bathroom telling her she is a smelly little beast and she has to wash her butt while she sings him songs about spraying him with the shower head
Husband when child was newborn: “bath time and bed time is my special one on one time with my sweet baby angel where I tell her how special and soft and sweet she is and spend much needed time relaxing and getting her to relax and snuggling”
Husband now that child is 4 and “sturdy” (his words not mine): “bath time is my special time for hand to hand combat with my warrior princess where I teach her how to throw a punch and try to exhaust her enough that she passes out until tomorrow, and if that doesn’t work I just start making deals like she’s a mob boss and I am a desperate flunkie”
